:: Thursday, October 6 ::,

Right then

To the few remaining people who might tune in from time to time.

Over and out.

*I am closing this blog*

I simply have no more time to update it and its a shame becuase theres loads to say, loads to do. Inevitably with teaching I knew it might come to this: the gradual disconnection from the wwwatrix. As this has reached a stage where my sphere of online influence has massively dwindled it is time to terminate this blog.

With a frightened unwilling patter in the carrying box, followed by a russle as it runs into the first lush grasses of the wide open DNS, followed by a mournful look back at me then scampering off to join the other wild domains that romp hapilly under the great clouds of the webosphere, I will also be releasing Headsessions.com back into its rightful digital habitat.

I am thinking of of a more suitable "brand" for further online exp's to wow the "ICT Champions group" with. This will prolly end up as mistersanders.com or similar because the kids can get it, and I like being known as Mr Sanders now.

Anyway, since those first *hello world type statements from deep within the cavernous reaches of the Cozai multi-plex, the blog became an extremely cathartic way of dealing with the dotcom comedown, and to post weirdness. At its height I got up to about 9 regulars, but lets face it, its not Fark is it?

At times, publishing for publishing's sake worried me, a cloying observation mixed in with diary-guilt about an page so old that the cuniform sanskrit was puzzling the British Museum....

Had a lot of laughs though. You all saw the photos, rem'd the stories.

So thats it. 8e and 9c to mark tonight, Jade's mum to ring, hallway to strip of nasty woodchip wallpaper and most importantly wife to keep cosy as the nights draw in. Might be in bed before 11pm, which is cool coz I'm up at 6 every day now.


I cant do it any longer. Soz guys.

Over and out. ..........

+++++++++++++++
Our Honeymoon:
+++++++++++++++
Safety: Severe flooding in the north, including in Caracas, in February 2005 has severely affected transport and a number of major roads have been blocked particularly in Mérida, Táchira and Vargas states. Travellers are advised to seek local advice when considering travel in the affected regions. The 1,000-mile (1,609km) long border between Venezuela and Colombia is notorious for the risk of violence, kidnapping, smuggling and drug trafficking. Visitors should give the border region a wide berth. Foreign nationals have also been kidnapped for ransom or violently mugged in Caracas and visitors should be alert to this threat in hotels, taxis and, in particular, the airport. Political demonstrations, sometimes with violence and gunfire, occur regularly in Venezuela (many Venezuelans carry guns) and should be avoided. The UK Foreign Office advises travellers to exercise caution and avoid demonstrations. Pickpockets are very active in the city centres, particularly around bus and subway stations. Armed robberies are on the increase and theft of unattended valuables left on beaches or in cars is common. Unlicensed taxicab operators have been known to overcharge and rob passengers; travellers are advised to only use licensed radio taxis or those from reputable hotels. The coastal beach resorts are generally trouble free, though visitors should use common sense in ensuring the safety of their person and possessions. Safety standards in light aircraft are variable and there have been several accidents on the main tourist routes, including Margarita and Canaima/Angel Falls; visitors are advised to go with established companies operating modern multi-engined aircraft.

Need to over-spend on insurance of a 'presidential' quality then!!!!!! ..........

They dont pay me enough, they really dont: Just after RM's story below, I had another eyewatering cracker today: A little girl (very broken famnily, no social structure at all) took my scissors and attempted to subtly slit her wrists.

For real - and she nearly broke the skin doing so...

I got Snr Mgt. down ASAP to look after her. She's an absolute shit, but my heart went out to the girl all the same.

I've seen things now - real things- the scurrying crawling things under the rock of society that have me gawping at the ignorance of many people; the woman in Waterloo shrieking at a bemused bagel shop assistant for insufficient cream cheese, the man thumping his hand against a wall banging on about 'the report, the report!', the 4x4 soccer mum who barely noticed the bike and 14 year old rider she'd nearly toppled whilst texting furiously at 40 (?) mph.

Sigh. ..........

-Mr Sanders?
-Yes?
-I need to talk to you about RM.
-Go on...
-Well.. she wont be coming back into your Year 10 Spanish class any more.
-Oh. OK. Good to know. Why?
-I cant say.
-Er?
-...well, I have been told to protect the right of the individual.
-Has she been excluded?
-....
-Ok then, is she OK?
-..yes.. but....
-You cant say..
-Right..
-I dont want to be Austin Powers, but can you throw me a bone?
-She er.. has a few health issues...
-Ah.. Plague? (giggle)
-..(laughing) no no no..
-But you cant say...
-Er.. no
-Look, not being funny but I'm doing the Y10 reports presently. I need to know.
-No-one is supposed to know. (Wry smile)
-So why are you telling me?
-I'm not.
-I gathered that.(weary hand across brow) Does her health proclude her attendance?
-It will do.
-Shit... something terminal? Is she alright?
-She's fine. Her feet are...up.
-mmmmmm. (looking for nearest revolver) Look, I've gotta class coming *right now* down the corridor.
-Yup.
-.....(need killer droid equipped with twin assault cannons and laser eyes that cut through flesh and bone)
-Lets just say...
-(aside, yelling) GET YOUR COATS OFF, GIVE ME THAT BALL, LINE UP LIKE YOU MEAN IT, NO...GIVE ME THE BALL, GIVE *ME* THE BALL FILE IN NEATLY, WAHID - GET THE BOOKS OUT NOW....PLEASE.
...er....bit busy???!!!?
-Lets just say that her health issues involve..
-STOP MUCKING ABOUT. YOU! GIVE IT BACK TO HER ...NOW!! (back to Miss)...what?!!
-a large lump.
-...treatment?
-... 9 months.
-.....
-.....
-.....
- a large lump about here ~(makes round ball near belly area)
-Jesus, couldnt you just say she was up the du....
-Not allowed. Policy. Have a good day....

{Well done RM, only fucking 14 for chrissakes - you dumb schmuck}

-




- ..........

"The mechanical jockey is light in weight and receives orders from the instructor via a remote control system fixed on the back of the camel"

yes... "camel".... ..........

In school last term and leaving the customary tidy up time (15 mins) on last lesson before holidays, and I bawled out : I want this floor so clean I can have dinner off it! (as you do).

CS replied quite matter-of-factly "Mum told me not to eat things off the floor or you'll get an itchy bum" and pushed his broken glasses up his nose a few milimetres.

I stoppped.
The whole class stopped.

Truly a moment for WTF? ..........

Re food: Tuna is your friend. Beware Chicken Tikka sarnies. Same goes for the wonderfully titled 'Ocean-flake' sarnies which are crab/prawn protein in a coleslaw slop. On the 'hot' counter - a curious misnoma for 'warm' or 'foetid' we have the usual junk. Friday is my fat day. I religiously munch on tuna sarnies every day when I have a spare 3 mins, so Friday I go for fish, chips n beans. The batter is positively luminous and the flesh of the fish is..well...greyish.

You cant eat the salads because they all have boat-loads of dressings, making them acidic and soggy.

The kids eat how they eat at home, namely, poorly.

With a (pre-election?) promise of upping the ante to 50p a meal this will put us only 50% behind the French on cost-per-unit and 75% behind Germany. A great leap forward you might add sarcasticly.

The only way to change it is by causing uproar and banning that which *the kids are accustomed to*. By forcing a change things might change, but no govt. or board of govenors is going to attempt that.

Alternatively you could start at the ROOT, which is my favourite: I have long suspected that congenital diet is poor in areas where I work. Start at home, bomb ADSA to smithereens, and start again, providing basic cookery to all the unemployed and maybe, in 3 generations time you might see a modest improvement of 50% better eating.

But then you have to think: Kids get exposed to roughly 125 messages a day to eat crap (figures not exact but it is over 100) so, should the Govt. shit all over the share price of our 'creative industry' by banning ads that target kids?
Hell - with regards targetting kids every other european country has taken an oath - much like with hooliganism- never to be like us, the English.

In short, where do we begin?

comments please. ..........

Well, at least I got away with it!

My hand grenade sits comfortably in my lounge, looking over the crossroads by the window. ..........

Christ I hate losing posts by pressing BACK.

Anyway: the missing post:

We bought the flat with a little help from Govt Teacher Money; things got very tricky by the end: an aggressive asshole seller and the solicitors wanted an emergency 3.5 k right at the end which was a bit of a shock. But we are are here and loving it.

Xmas was spent in wales : 9 days when it should have been 4. I was trying to shoehorn my weird family's ethics into the whole wedding-planning scenario. Soph thought they were being weird; Soph's mum thought they were being weird: For me they were being predictably paranoid and just ... out there; they rudely assumed that 'help' meant 'pay for' so my side very nearly refused to show up, 6 months before the evnt. Oh well. Every wedding has a story and that was the one I guess. A very FRANK chat with my Dad set things straight but feathers flew.

Over Xmas, me Soph and Archie the dog (pictured) went up Pen i fan S. Wale's highest peak. Its a 5 hour round hike and we did it in Minus ten!!!



Large panorama here (744k)

Then back to school with a whoosh.

Whoever told me that things flatten out after Xmas is a FUCKING LIAR

Bollocks:

still the metaphorical bare-knuckle fightin' of getting them to open their damn books, put their fucking Nokia's away and come away from the windows, and take your fingers out of the sockets-dont-you-know-that-could...oh never mind... And STOP THROWING THINGS...GAAAAAAAAAARGH.

J.G sat there and yelled this lovely little ditty at the the top of his lungs

...DO YOU 'AVE A GINGER MINGE?
...DOES YOUR FANNY 'AVE A FRINGE?
...DOES IT SMELL???
...WELL FUCKIN' ELL!!!

Lord luv 'em...

So we've been browsing furniture (for wedding gift vouchers), and getting invite stationary (thx to all those who provided email and snail addresses) and generally running about like a pair of blue arsed flies.

Oh I'm driving too.

6 lessons in and I'm a natural. The problem is that I've lost my fucking license and replacement's going to take weeks, delaying the Theory Test, thusdelaying the Real Test.

I got a 'new' old PC from my bestest best man - Piers-the-technologically-unsatisfied


XP pro, P4 2.77 Ghz 512 RAM and all trimmings (128 video card woooohooo-Doom 3 here I come!!!)

...and it fucking rocks. Infact you could say its slicker than a spunk sandwhich.

I very nearly needed stitch after buying a chef's mandolin doing an extravagant valentines dinner. I stood cursing as a chunk of thumb hung by a thin strand of flesh as half a cup of blood drizzled liberally over my cumberland boulangere (no I dont read the Times but thats the recipe.). Fucking thing wouldnt stop bleeding for an HOUR throwing all my timings out of joint. And after having nearly severed my thumb at the joint, I could only apologise to Soph as my bloody footprints tracked from the kitchen to the bathroom and back again. That special irony flavour? - Oh thats just bouillon, darling, nothing to worry about...

Addington received 2 inches of snow yesterday and I had a wicked snowfight at 7.45 am with a bunch of kids in the playground (my usual arrival) which as Soph said, I probably wouldnt get at a desk job. I'll post the movie if I get their permish.
One of those cheeeeezey teacher moments I guess.

My space key is up the spout at the moment so I'm going to call it quits and fix it and go to bed. Sorry SorrySorrySorrySorry its been soooooo long, its just been (puff*pant*wheeze*) busy.

hohoho... ..........

I am alive, just mad busy. Yes we bought a huuuge flat, and I've been swamped by wedding planning and having no money what so fucking ever. Got a lot of funny stories for you but not for now. You'll have to wait till 1/2 term (14th Feb -21 Feb) for an update. Really sorry guys and gals for the longterm wait but life is insanely busy now.


..........

Well that was mad panic for a while. It took us 4.5 months to get it and we've done it, by exchanging contracts today with a (fingers crossed) completion date of Jan 7th. Woohoo. Best Xmas present for a long while!!!
..........

aaargh, I cant seestraight!! Damn... ..........

Thanks to Aaron

Kid who's been in hospital for ages arrives crying at my door, - cant wipe his eyes becuase of his -lifelong- crutches. Having the piss taken out of him becuase he's unable to join PE or breatime football. Cheered him up with The Goth's famous phrase: "The opinions of Stupid People dont actually matter"




..........

Novel way of avoiding work.

TD hates Spanish. He will purposefully chew biros in half in order to 'have to go to the bog coz I got ink in my maaaaarf' returning *just before the bell*. hmmmmm

We fixed that.

He forges his mum's signature to leave 15 mins early every class. hmmmm

We fixed that too.

His latest attempt showed a Branson-esque flair for the entrepreneurial:

He sold his fucking book, and pen......... *IN THE FUCKING CLASS*


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!



..........

Keep on Trying:

Brought in some Spanish Chorizo slices for everyone to try.

'Its Ok if you dont like it, just taste another culture' I said as I passed the bin round regurgitating Year 8's. At least they spat into the bin. The Year 9's spat it behind my radiator, threw it on ceiling trampled them into the carpet, made Choriozo-balls with saliva and chorizo and threw them too.

*sigh*
..........